hokay!

My life has been slightly interrupted the last couple of weeks because my car broke down (shocking!). We thought it was just the battery and my brother replaced it only to have the timing belt go out a few days later, in the middle of a snow storm, while driving home from work one night. Jesus, my car (cleverly named by my brothers because it keeps resurrecting from the dead) was kind enough to wait until I was coming onto the off ramp of the freeway. Right when I was giving myself kudos for not having a panic attack while driving in the storm, on the freeway, in the dark - he died. No warning at all. My cell phone battery also died so I trucked the two miles home, on foot, in the snow storm. The strange part? I kind of enjoyed the walk...

On New Year's Eve, Christina took me to get my car out of impound. Yeah, that whole "You have twenty-four hours to get your car off of the road" all lies. Anyway, after that we hung out and ate pizza and watched movies. She also helped me pick out images for this collage project that I'm working on. I got the idea from my sister. She and her best friend collaged a life size mannequin a couple of years ago. One of my resolutions is to improve my vocabulary. I'm making myself flashcards and they really are helping me retain the information more quickly. I'm such a dork.

This is Pascal the Parrot, aka Little Chicken Man. Another resolution is to spend more time handling him. He's a sweet little guy who I know would be an absolute lover if I held him more. He's currently entertaining me by barking like the neighbor's dog.


And now, the lovely purse that Mumsey made! I really dig tartan and red is among my most favorite colors. It is also huge so I can pretty much put my entire life in there.

Finally there is Gisele .... She's on a diet for the new year. She just doesn't know it yet.

♥

Crossing Thresholds

Sometimes I sit down to write or work in my art journal or paint and it just flows right out of me. But lately...that's not the case. The last several months have been full of change and emotional growth. There is not much in my life today that was there only a few months ago. People leave, people die, jobs are lost, loved ones are terminally diagnosed...yet somehow life goes on and even has the capacity of becoming sweeter. Relationships are appreciated, time is valued, hopes and dreams are fought for. In the middle of it all lies opportunity to change direction and cross the much needed thresholds in order to live authentically. My life, my person, is like this unfinished painting. Unsure of the result of each new decision but determined to become a work of art anyway...

Restoration

I've been a social butterfly this week. After being pretty much a hermit for the last year or more, it feels nice to extend myself into other people's lives again. Utah hasn't been the easiest place for me to make girlfriends. Most people have known each other all of their lives here and penetrating that circle can be intimidating to say the least. Either that or they are married with a bazillion kids and I have a hard time relating. So, I've spent the majority of my time here feeling out of the loop and a bit awkward. But I've been praying about it and what do ya know...women that I've met over the years are beginning to surface once again and this time around there is more of a connection. We seem to be at the same place in our lives on many different things. The reinvention of 'me' is well underway and making some mighty fine progress. ♥

I came home from a BBQ tonight to find this sweet little girl sleeping in my armouire. She is determined to get fur on every square inch of this place!

thee poetess is learning to paint

Last night it was so beautiful outside that I took my supplies out onto my back steps and painted while I listened to music by 'Wovenhand'. It's a CD that Ben brought by a few weeks ago that I can't get enough of, especially when I'm creating something. The lyrics are like prayers & the music is dark and mystical, it's fabulous!

It's difficult to capture the effects of the different layers by photograph and it's my first time drawing a 'real life' looking person. I don't think I did too badly. I'm actually kind of proud of the lips, even though they are a bit uneven.

♥~♥

I feel so small
inside of myself
as if I'm beginning
to disappear
watching
from the outside
looking in
a fly
on my own wall

~E~

♥~♥

Revolution of the Heart

If you click on the picture you'll be able to see more of the detail in this.

♥ Happy Mother's Day Mom ♥

I'm not a very good photographer but I did my best. Here is a photo of the mixed media collage I made for my mom as part of her Mother's Day gift. She loved it - which made my day!

I love you mom! Thank you for being such a fun mom and for teaching me how to laugh at myself, among other things. Have a wonderful day and know that you are loved, appreciated and admired...by someone I'm sure!

XOXO

I have no idea where I'm going with this, I just wanted to do something different. I started it last night and then added the red and white today. I plan on writing in white on top of the red I'm just trying to find the given words. That's as far as I've let myself plan. I just want to see where the painting takes me. I have so many emotions flying around inside of me right now. I feel far removed from things, people, my dreams...I think the painting is panning out to be a good manifestation of that. Maybe once all of that is expressed it will bring me back around to where I long to be.

Nothing wreaks havoc on a heart like the response of indifference. But I would rather risk pain then forget how it feels to love and to live and to hope and to dream.

I’ve had such a contrary couple of weeks.

Ben and I decided to stop seeing each other. Which is an awful lot like ripping a band aid off; it hurts like hell but has to be done. I think ending our “relationship” (I use that term loosely) was one of the few things that we ever agreed on and we even argued about that, go figure. But aside from that I have the rush that new found independence tends to give and I have applied for school in the fall. I take my assessment test tomorrow, yikes! I have decided on a degree in Humanities and I’m giddy to be a student again. And although I’m hungry for the knowledge, going to school full time and working full time is going to be crazy! But I’m up for it….I think.

Then there is Gisele. Poor girl had to go back to the vet today and have her original incision from being spayed a month ago, reopened, cleaned and closed back up with different sutures. She had an allergic reaction to the dissolvable stitches and had developed an infection. This time around they gave her the good old fashion stitches. Except they’re worried about her licking them hence the stylish t-shirt she is so obviously thrilled about. I have already taken it off of her so that she could cuddle up and sleep like she does.

So that’s life in Bohemian Sugar. I’m just trying to get a grip.

Look familiar?

This is the girl that I sketched and shaded for my Suzi Blu class. I finished her and then cut her out and glued her to this canvas adding paint and collage elements. I couldn't pick up all of the details in any of my photos but I sort of went crazy with them. It reminds me of a scene from a fairytale.

Sketching

It's weird...it isn't about being good anymore, it's about how good it makes me feel...

Practice, Practice

I'm really starting to fall in love with drawing and can't wait to get better at it. It's becoming habit to reach for my sketchbook and pencil when I sit down on the couch. I can actually see some improvement with this girl and that's very encouraging for me. Especially because it has been such a short time since starting. More and more I like the idea of my own drawings being the main element in my journal spreads. It's more authentic that way.

MY USB CORD IS WORKING!!

I'm participating in Misty Mawn's journal entry a day project for January but my cord hasn't been operating so this is my very first post. It's not exactly pretty but that is kind of what I like about it. This spread was inspired by the book "Women Who Run With Wolves" as were the poems that I wrote on the pages.

FEMALE

Alive- me
A living, breathing creature
Woman

Therefore, I am growing-still.
Feed me
Give me drink
Nurture the dreamer
Encourage the soul
Prune only what has become too heady
Allow me my instinct
For I am most beautiful, when left wild

Shifting gear...This is the painting that Ben gave me for Christmas. I had a hard time getting a decent photograph of it because it's HUGE. It gets different reactions I'm sure, but it reminds me of freedom, isn't that weird? The first time that I laid eyes on it, and every time that I've looked at it since, I think about what life will look like for us if we keep passing law after law in the name of "safety" and "security". Maybe it's just me...