I've been struggling with anxiety and fear lately. I just have so many questions and so many life decisions that I'm making right now and I guess I've been letting the pressure of it all get to me a little. Sometimes I wish that I had arms that were stronger than mine to crawl into and feel safe for a moment, someone to bounce my ideas off of, but I don't. I'm not even sure that I would know how to let myself do that if I did. I just know that it is taking every bit of strength that I have not to bury my head in the sand and escape - to not just let everything fall apart around me. However, this is all causing me to dig very deeply and I think that is always a good thing and maybe even the purpose of this part of my journey.Carl Jung called it the Individuation Process - where one must dig deep into their own psyche and carve out their own beliefs and convictions about themselves, their god and their life. This process happens not just once in life but throughout life. Joseph Campbell talks about "Crossing Thresholds" from the old person and life into the new person and life, believing that the unwillingness of a person to cross these thresholds is what causes a person to become neurotic. In ancient India (and maybe now, I don't know) the person having crossed over an emotional, intellectual or spiritual threshold will change the way that they dress to outwardly express the changes that have occurred within. Then there are The Arthurian Romances with the definite theme of following ones own path. A belief was fostered through these stories that if you were on a path and realized that someone else had already taken this exact path, then you were not on your own path at all and needed to change course in order to live authentically. Ah ... the idea of truly living authentically is romantic is it not? And what a lovely ideal to hold. I'm learning that it has its price but in the end I believe it will have been worth it.
