Closing doors and opening windows

Love isn't actually difficult to find but rather easy to miss. It's too subtle to outshine our ideals and if we've never learned to love or value ourselves, it's not only tricky to recognize, but to accept.

♥ ♥ ♥

I need someone I can talk to

I have a hard time digesting things quickly. In terms of life I mean. I comprehend things emotionally much sooner than I can speak about them with any genuine intellect. I see the big picture first and then I work on understanding the details. I work backward in a sense. A lot of times, in interactions, I'm very aware that I tend to be operating on a different wave length than most. Sometimes that realization is empowering other times it's maddening and can leave me feeling very alone and insecure

This is why I enjoy writing & making art so much. Talking often moves too fast and I'm almost certain to say the wrong thing or respond the wrong way and piss someone off (which evokes a whole new set of emotions and thoughts to quickly grasp!) or, I make myself sound like an idiot…. I do that a lot. I'm much smarter than my conversation reveals. With writing, I can take the time to articulate my thoughts and feelings into the right words. With art, it doesn't need to make sense to anyone else at all.

(photos were taken while sailing in San Diego last week)

I have a hard time dygesting things quickly. In terms of life I mean. I comprehend things emotionally much sooner than I can speak about them with genuine intellect. I see the big picture first, then I work on understanding the details. I work backward in a sense. A lot of times in interactions, I'm very aware that I tend to be operating on a different wave length than most. Sometimes that realization is empowering other times it's maddening and can leave me feeling very alone and insecure.

I think this is why I enjoy writing so much. Talking moves too fast and I'm almost certain to say the wrong thing and piss someone off (which evokes a whole new set of emotions and thoughts to quickly grasp!) or make I myself sound like an idiot.

Life's constant alterations

It's an odd thing when you outgrow your life. Like most things we outgrow, it happens over night - the quantum leap. The tiny changes we've made up to this point, the books we've read, the decision we've made (good & bad) even that brief conversation with the stranger that tweaked our perspective, all of these things abruptly manifest and suddenly nothing fits.

I've been sorting through it all the last few months trying to figure out exactly what I need to change and who it is that I want to be and how it is that I want to live. I need to take some risks in my life and start betting on my own dreams.