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Dear Ben,

I love your sick and twisted mind.

When I was little, I was astonished by the moon. I use to think that it followed me. As an adult, I still find it amazing & beautiful but the "man in the moon" just never sounded quite right... this sounds much better!

My Candlemas/Imbolc Celebration

Holding true to my resolutions to implement other religions and denominations into my own personal worship time, I celebrated my variation of Candlemas & Imbolc this year for the first time.

I won't give you a history or theology lesson on what each of these are because you can easily find that with a google search if you are so inclined. However, each of these holiday's speak of Spring, purification, light, fire, birth, harvest....basically new beginnings. I took something from each to create this little altar.
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The altar included: a mosaic cross that my sister made me; incense; candles (of course); fresh flowers; a few pieces of Christmas tree branch that I still had; a twig of fresh rosemary; Bible; Celtic worship music, Spirit flute music, pottery bowl, pen & paper.
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First I put on the Celtic music and lit a candle in every room of my apartment, even the bathroom. Then I displayed the goods as beautifully as I could and lit more candles and incense. I danced around to the music for awhile and then I sat down in front of the altar. I sang softly with the music and thought about why I worship Jesus and what worship meant. I just sang and talked to God and wrote things on the paper that were on my heart. Things that I was sorry for, worried about, sick and tired of, & the names of people that I loved and want the best for. Each time that I wrote something, I tore it from the page and folded it up making a little pile of requests. Then I just asked The Lord to take care of them for me, to lift the burden of anything that wasn't mine. I asked God to help me start fresh and free from my worries and regrets of the past year and to help me move forward and to believe in my dreams again. Then I read from The Psalms for awhile.

Once the Celtic music was done I put in the Spirit Flute music. While the music played I proceeded to burn, in my pottery bowl, all of my pieces of paper, the Christmas tree twigs, and the rosemary. Watching it burn was a great visual of my worries being burned with it.

I kept these ashes to remind me that my past is gone and forgiven. I am a new creation in Christ. He is my Spring, my new beginning - each and everyday.

And Breathe

Do you ever feel like nobody gets you? Like you're not in sync with the rest of world? I feel like that a lot and especially this past week. Sometimes I grow very weary of trying to explain my perspective or being called weird. Usually I take the whole weird thing as a compliment and the same with being out of sync. I love my individuality, and I like knowing that I do and think things because of what I've read or decided rather than because it's popular and main stream. But still...

When people that are closest to us seem to never really understand where we are coming from, it can be upsetting.

I wrote about all of that here, on pages painted with the color Latte, then covered it with red paint thinned with a little gel medium. I just cut out images that I felt drawn to. I love the topless girl with her jar. She looks vulnerable and confident all at once. Next, I took an oil pastel in blue and scribbled all over and smooshed it around (I think the best part of creating is getting the paint and glue all over your hands!). Then I stamped with gold ink. The last thing that I added was metal leaf. This is the first time I've ever used it and I loved it. I just put some gel medium on a paint brush, dipped it in the bag of leaf and smeared it in random places on the pages.

I finally feel a connection when I journal. It's like coming home.